Living with low self esteem is distressing. You may feel:
- Your shortcomings acutely
- Self conscious of what other people think of you
- Hypersensitive to feedback and criticism
- Uncomfortable accepting compliments or praise
- Undeserving, untalented or incompetent despite positive feedback or success
- Sensitive to rejection in close relationships
- Somewhat inferior, unworthy or unlovable
- Punitive or critical of yourself
Low self esteem is frequently accompanied by feelings of shame, guilt and chronic self doubt alongside fear of failure and humiliation, leading to unexplained and persistent vague unhappiness.
Worries that your faults could be exposed plus fear of ridicule and rejection lead to stress, anxiety and depression.
You may be resigned to believing that life will always be unfulfilling. Perhaps you think: “What’s the point?”. Maybe you put great pressure on yourself to always do the right thing and achieve which leads to high levels of stress.
Relationships may be fraught with difficulties.
Low self esteem is not necessarily related to real defects, but rather the result of trauma or adverse early experiences. For example, if you had been loved, valued, respected and supported as a child, chances are that you would have healthy self esteem as an adult.
Imagine having a solid and positive sense of yourself. You will feel:
- Good at what you do
- Worthwhile as a person
- You have qualities and talents to offer others
- Worthy of love and respect
This enhanced sense of self will positively change how you operate in your life. You will be able to:
- Speak up for things that are important to you
- Feel more relaxed in close relationships
- Experience less self doubt. Feel more confident about solving problems and making decisions
- Feel less anxious about criticism. Feel calmer when dealing with conflict and disagreement
- Have greater access to your strengths and abilities in your approach to life
- Have greater resilience when meeting life challenges
- Feel more energetic with a strong sense of well being
- Be more hopeful about your life.
I am thorough and strategic when addressing low self esteem as it is often part of a cluster of other struggles you are having in your life.
My approach includes working with:
- The origins of your low self worth (e.g. dissolving trauma or rewiring unhelpful patterns learnt early in life)
- Unhelpful thinking patterns which maintain the pain of your low self worth (e.g. constant inner criticism)
- The painful emotions of shame and guilt
- Associated symptoms (e.g. insomnia, anxiety, low mood)
- Compensating behaviours (e.g. overuse of food, drink, drugs, shopping or unrelenting standards of performance)
In addressing each issue, layer by later, I select from a variety of well established and proven techniques as appropriate to your particular set of problems. These methods include Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT), Schema Therapy, Eye Movement Desensitisation Reprocessing (EMDR), and Clinical Hypnosis for accessing untapped strengths and resources.
My approach is gentle and encouraging. You have suffered enough. Working with me through this process, you can overcome your negative sense of self. You can rewire and flourish.
Together we will identify and address the factors that underpin your negative feelings and work to overcome them.
My experience is diverse. I have worked with people whose low self esteem come from trauma related experiences, early adverse events (e.g. being constantly criticised, humiliated or teased), lack of support and being undervalued. Working through the issues contributing to your feelings of unhappiness about yourself, new and positive effects are experienced.
Pain is dissolved. Therapy is not always easy but it is rewarding.