Living well in a time of COVID19

During these unprecedented times, we are facing many challenges. I’ve put some ideas together from various sources to support my clients and interested others. While this is not advice specific to any particular person, I hope it resources you during this time of extreme challenges. Resources are included at the end of this article, and will be updated periodically.

My deepest wish is that some of these ideas will help you orient your psychological life and mental states to make good choices in meeting your current life situation.

The top 3 principles for coping (suggested on the basis of my training and work, especially in PTSD):

Key psychological challenges

Take a moment here. Write down for yourself 3 key challenges that are facing you currently due the COVID19 and its consequences.

Now, please consider whether the themes below resonate with you. What thoughts are sparking up for you as you read the table? What actions can you take, so you maintain mental states that are more positive and beneficial? The suggestions are just starting points.

Possible challenges due to COVID19	Potential negative inner states	Potential antidotes you could try
Not knowing how to cope in the face of uncertainty and changes in society	Getting into chaotic states Bingeing, numbing out on substances (e.g.food, alcohol, cigarettes, drugs) or activities (e.g. too much online or screen time). Compulsive checking news media	Think of a time when you coped well with a challenge What skills or “superpowers” did you call on? What small step can you take today? How can you build on that tomorrow?
Fear and anxiety about the present and the future	Panic Ruminating Catastrophising	Focus on slow deep breaths, with an emphasis on the exhale. Notice present safety right now Make reasonable plans and review them as situations change Focus on a doable project In what ways can you still work to pay the bills? In what ways can you care for others in spite of physical distancing?
Physical isolation   Social isolation	Edginess Irritability Loneliness	Reach out to someone for meaningful and doable contact Ask for help Offer help Remember positive times of connection.  Relive these.
Information overload (news media and social media)	Emotional contagion (fear and panic spreading from a critical mass of alarming or sensationalising reports or posts)	How much information do you need at the moment? Who/what are the most reliable sources of information you want to consider? What’s your action plan based on this information?
Collapsing into pessimism and depression	Caught in hopeless, helpless “There is nothing I can do”	Remember all the times in the past when you adapted and survived Practice good self care Build resilience, inner strength (“Fall down 7 times, get up 8”) Have plans and stay flexible Connect with a helpful person
Disrupted routines and added responsibilities	Irritability Anxiety about when things can “get back to normal”	How can you create a new structure or routine to your life? What can you do about the disadvantages of being at home more? How can your family/ housemates collaborate on the use of space for both safety and privacy?

You know yourself better than anyone. What are you willing to try? Experiment with an antidote. Notice the effect. Did it help your mental state? If “Yes”, how can you cultivate this as a habit? If “No”, can you refine the antidote or try another one?

My teacher Dr Daniel P Brown (Associate professor at Harvard Medical School) suggested practicing gratitude, loving kindness meditation and living from purpose as antidotes (see the resource box on working with emotional states for the science). My clinical mentor Dr David Howsam (physician and EMDR consultant), suggested having a good exercise routine (yes, you can do it at home) and practicing inner stillness/calm as antidotes. Dr Kathy Steele (international trauma and dissociation expert), suggested structuring your day and shifting to a calmer pace.  This Covid time is looking like a marathon, not a sprint.

From your own religious/spiritual faith, can you pray or act from a compassionate intention? Do you have skills in active social engagement to influence our leaders to act wisely?

Just like how you learnt to read and write, or drive a car … Remember we are all capable of learning new skills, which when cultivated become habits. And you know what they say … Behaviour done frequently becomes habit. Habits become character. Character becomes destiny.

It would be so easy to over-focus on danger and disruption right now. Yet we have the opportunity to do life differently. Imperfectly but worthwhile. What are some of the opportunities you have right now?

Without living in a Pollyanna world or denying the impact of what’s happening in our world, can this be a time where you:

• Spend more time in the comfort of your home?
• Connect with people you’ve been meaning to see for a long time?
• Plant that veggie garden or fix the house?
• Slow down, and reset your life to be more in line with your values?
• Work on your Plan B or Plan C?

Please remember that humans have survived many large scale disasters (war, famine, fires, natural disasters and other pandemics). Yes this one is different, but so were the others. Some people did suffer and die. Many of us will suffer and die. It is a sobering truth: we all die at some time. Possibly, what’s more important is how we live this one precious life.

And you know what? As long as you are alive, “Game not over”. Look for what’s still good in the world, and do what you can. Cultivate resilience (grit, determination, agency). May you be well and free from unnecessary suffering.

Resources

 

Acknowledgments

I’ve drawn on the work of my teacher Dr Daniel P. Brown (Harvard University; Dharma teacher and clinical psychologist; award winning author of Attachment Disturbances in Adults), and other researchers/trainers in the field of psychotherapy including Rick Hanson (Buddha’s brain, Resilience), Dr Richard Schwartz (Internal Family Systems), Dr Francine Shaprio (EMDR), my clinical mentor Dr David Howsam, and the Psychology, EMDR, IFS and Schema Therapy communities.

Buddhist philosophy informs my work and life, but you don’t have to be a buddhist to use the above suggestions.  As the Buddha said: Check things out for yourself.  Practice good self care.  This is a good foundation to also care for others and our shared world.

Apologies

It is beyond the scope of this webpage  to address all psychological consequences of covid19, especially the complex ones.  I hope you find compassionate, wise and skillful people to help you. Please seek professional assistance as required.

In Australia:

• Consult your GP in the first instance for a referral
• To find an Australian psychologit: The Australian Psychological Society Find a psychologist page  http://www.psychology.org.au
• For an EMDR trauma therapist: http://www.emdraa.org
• For an IFS therapist:   https://www.internalfamilysystemstrainingaustralia.com.au/directory/
• For a schema therapist: https://schematherapysociety.org/Find-a-Therapist

I’m sorry I won’t be able to speak or respond to everyone personally.  I am in solo private practice and therefore have limited capacity to provide psychological consultations for everyone who shows interest.  Currently, I am taking a short break to prepare for delivering Telehealth services (psychotherapy via phone or internet) and will resume private practice after Easter.  Thank you for understanding.  Please ring (03) 9592 2459 to check my availability.